No excuses
by jelenamichel
Summary: When Gibbs suspects Tony and Ziva of crossing the line, Tony finally stands up for himself. A Tony/Gibbs argument, but with a healthy undertone of TIVA.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: If there's one thing I love, it's an angry, shouty Tony. And if there's one thing I really want to see on the show, it's angry, shouty Tony standing his ground in a painfully emotional fight with Gibbs. Because you know Weatherly and Harmon would bring it. Oh yes, they'd **_**bring**_** it.**

**The Tony in the below story isn't the sarcastic boy-man we're used to encountering. It's the darker, more exhausted man we're starting to see more of. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the evolution.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own a single part of NCIS. But if it ever goes to auction, I've already picked out the lot I'll bet on.**

**

With every bullet that echoed through the near empty loft, Tony lost a little more patience. The two suspects the team had been chasing for the murder of a Chief Petty Officer had opened fire as soon as Gibbs had kicked in the door, and they'd barely let up since. The team had provided each other with cover fire as they'd advanced into the room, but they'd had to find shelter from the hail of bullets almost immediately. Tony had been crouched next to Gibbs behind a low double brick wall for so long his calves were starting to cramp, and he couldn't get an eye on McGee and Ziva. He suspected, though, that they were sheltering behind the industrial-sized garbage hopper to the right of the entrance. As a bullet whizzed close enough to his head for Tony to feel the displacement of air, he thought that the garbage hopper had been the smarter option.

"Gibbs," came Ziva's whispered voice through their earwigs. "How long do you want us to wait?"

"Hold," Gibbs returned, missing the wince Tony aimed at his back.

Three shots slammed into the metal of the garbage hopper.

"For how long?" Ziva hissed.

"I can give her cover," Tony insisted, annoyed by the calm on Gibbs's face. He hated it when Gibbs went Zen Master in the middle of chaos, even when it was usually the right option.

McGee's voice broke through the gunfire. "Any time soon would be great," he said nervously, a moment before a barrage of gunfire was aimed in his direction. "Fuck!"

"McGee?" Gibbs hissed into his commlink. "Ziva?"

"Officer down!" came McGee's panicked reply.

Tony and Gibbs locked eyes, and for one moment Gibbs's calm exterior cracked. He saw Tony's face harden, and he knew exactly what his agent was about to do.

"Don't," Gibbs growled, but it was to late. Tony popped his head up over the wall and drew the suspects' fire. By the time Gibbs had popped up and raised his gun, McGee had hit one suspect in the chest. It wasn't clear who hit the second suspect, but the direction his body dropped suggested it was Tony or Gibbs. Tony couldn't care less.

Gibbs followed his senior agent as they approached the fallen suspects and kicked their semi-automatics out of reach. Gibbs felt for signs of life at their necks and found nothing.

"Gone," he said.

But Tony was already rushing to check on his friends. Behind the hopper, he found McGee crouched over Ziva. Upon seeing her eyes open, Tony let out a sigh of relief so strong it brought him to his knees.

"Ziva," he said, his tone half admonishing, half relieved. Quickly, he ripped at the Velcro that held the bullet proof vest around her torso and lifted the front flap over her head. Blood was pooling under her left shoulder, and Tony jammed his hands up hard against the entry wound.

Ziva growled through her gritted teeth and swore in Hebrew.

"I know," Tony allowed, but didn't reduce the pressure.

"David, you okay?" Gibbs asked from over Tony's shoulder.

"Fine," she returned with a tight nod. "Did we get them?"

Gibbs nodded and barked orders. "McGee, radio for an ambulance. And Ducky."

McGee pulled out his iPhone and made the calls and, satisfied that his agent was all right, Gibbs returned to the bodies to search for ID. As he carefully checked the suspects' pockets, Gibbs let himself fume. The suspects had obviously been ready for them and had a small arsenal waiting. That was infuriating enough, but his blood was boiling over his agents' lack of trust in Gibbs's judgement. He was furious they hadn't listened to him. He was mad enough to kick Ziva's ass back to Israel for her impatience, and Tony was going to wish he was still agent afloat after Gibbs was done with him.

"Anything, boss?" McGee asked as he crouched over the other body and started searching.

Gibbs just shook his head, not trusting his voice, and looked over at Ziva and Tony. Ziva still lay on her back, her jaw clenched against the pain but otherwise still as she looked up at Tony. She'd taken enough bullets in her career to know how to handle this. Tony still pressed both hands to her shoulder, his skin now covered in his partner's blood. But to Gibbs's surprise, his eyes were closed, his face stormy.

"It's okay," Gibbs heard Ziva say.

Tony opened his eyes and shook his head. "No. It's not close to okay."

**

It took just two hours for Gibbs, Tony and McGee to process the scene after Ziva had been taken to hospital and the suspects had been taken to Ducky's morgue. Gibbs had spoken only to bark orders, Tony hadn't opened his mouth once, and McGee knew better than to try to break the silence. Somehow he knew it was preferable to the alternative, even if the tension in the room had his hair standing on end.

It was past eight o'clock when Gibbs finally straightened and sealed his last bag. "Okay. Done."

"I'll load these in the car," McGee said, picking up a box full of bagged shell casings. He looked up, expecting to see Tony pick up the other box with blood samples and sketches. Instead, he saw the senior agent's back as he headed for the door.

"DiNozzo!" McGee called.

Tony didn't turn back as he pulled off his gloves and kept stride. "I'll call you when I've got word on Ziva's condition," he spat, then disappeared into the dark.

McGee frowned, but let him go. He was too tired to argue. Gibbs picked up the box Tony had left, and the two of them made their way out to Gibbs's car.

As soon as they were settled, Gibbs turned on the younger agent with an expression that made McGee want to get out and walk.

"How long?" Gibbs asked, his voice even and utterly serious.

McGee blinked. "Uh…How long what, boss?"

Gibbs narrowed his eyes just a fraction, warning McGee against deception right now. "Tony and Ziva."

McGee floundered as he tried to decipher what the hell they were talking about. "I-I'm not sure what—"

"Damn it, McGee!" Gibbs growled. "How long?"

Finally the source of Gibbs's questioning dawned on him. But McGee didn't have any answers. "As far as I know, not at all."

Gibbs leaned closer. McGee couldn't help moving as far back as he could. "Don't cover for them," Gibbs warned.

McGee shook his head, his eyes as wide as could be. "I'm not! _They're_ not! No one is!" He sweated under Gibbs's glare for a few long moments, waiting to be slapped or fired. But neither came.

Gibbs settled back into his seat and turned over the engine. McGee might've believed what he was saying, but Gibbs didn't buy that it was the truth. "Yeah, they are," he growled, then put his foot to the floor. He was going to kill them.

**

Thanks to some angry driving from Gibbs, McGee walked through the door to his apartment less than an hour later. His cell was ringing before he set his keys and bag down, and McGee didn't bother checking caller ID before he answered.

"Tony," he guessed.

"Ziva's okay," Tony said, getting to the point. "The bullet went through clean and only nicked the muscle. She'll have a sling, but they'll release her tomorrow."

McGee sighed in relief. "That's good news, Tony. Thanks." He paused. "Did you call Gibbs yet?"

McGee heard barely controlled anger fill Tony's voice. "No. He's next on the list."

Another pause. McGee figured he owed him somehow. Or maybe he owed Ziva. "Tony? Heads up. Gibbs thinks you and Ziva are…" He trailed off, unsure of what _exactly_ Gibbs thought. He'd leave it to Tony to fill in the blank.

He heard Tony sigh, but the anger was gone just as quickly as it arrived. "Okay. Thanks, Tim."

McGee's eyebrow shot up at Tony's use of his actual, given name. Did that mean…? "Oh my God! Are you?" he found himself asking.

"No," Tony said simply, not even bothering to make a pun of his surname. "I'll talk to you later."

**

**The final chapter is already up and waiting for your eyes. Why don't you check it out?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: My characters? No.**

**

Just as he'd expected, Tony found the door to Gibbs's house unlocked. He didn't bother checking the living room or kitchen, nor did he call out to signal his presence. Instead, he went straight to the basement. Gibbs glanced up as Tony descended the stairs, but it didn't interrupt the rhythm of sandpaper against wood.

"How's Ziva?" Gibbs asked, his eyes back on the boat.

"Undermining the medical degrees of all those around her," Tony replied. He took off his jacket and slung it over the staircase before rolling up his sleeves. "They'll let her out tomorrow."

Gibbs nodded at the good news as Tony took position at the boat's stern. He leaned back against the staircase and crossed his arms over his chest. He was ready for a fight.

"You wanted to see me?"

No message had been relayed, but they both knew it had been sent.

"We've got a big problem, DiNozzo," Gibbs stated seriously.

"How so?" Tony asked, overacting his naivety.

Gibbs kept his eyes on his boat. "She's clouding your judgement."

"Pretty sure I acted properly," Tony shot back, anticipating the argument. His voice was level, but Gibbs heard the anger—directed at him—in his tone.

"Explain it to me," Gibbs invited, reflecting the anger back at Tony.

"Suspect fired on federal agents," Tony stated. "Relying on expert backup from my team, I acted as decoy. Team takes out suspects. Suspects neutralised. Textbook."

Gibbs glanced up at him to see if he really believed that. He found Tony's eyes boring into him, daring him to fight his assessment. For a moment, Gibbs was struck by how different this man looked to the agent he knew. This DiNozzo was serious. Confident. Adult.

"That's not like you," he finally said, eyes returning to his boat.

He heard Tony snort. "What? Having balls?"

"You would have waited for orders before," Gibbs replied.

"You want me to wait for your orders every time?" Tony asked, his trademark sarcasm now seeping into his words. "Haven't you been teaching us to anticipate?"

This time, Gibbs stopped sanding. He looked pointedly at Tony. "You want to start a discussion on my rules, DiNozzo?" he challenged.

Tony didn't flinch. "It's one of your better known rules. Didn't you say once that it's your job to teach them to us? Drum them into our heads?"

"I thought I had," Gibbs returned. _But maybe not_, he thought to himself.

Tony's mouth twisted in a bitter smirk. "You have," he said, addressing the unsaid but definitely heard comment.

They held gazes for a silent moment, both fully aware of what they were really talking about, before Gibbs went back to sanding. He kept his mouth shut, confident that he could break the younger agent. He didn't.

"You're an excellent agent, DiNozzo," Gibbs finally said, breaking the stalemate only to deliver a blow. "But you were thinking with the wrong head tonight."

Whether Tony anticipated it or not, he didn't take the bait. "I was thinking like you," he shot back. "If I hadn't drawn fire, you would have. Eventually."

"I wouldn't have popped up like a damn Jack-in-the-Box," Gibbs returned gruffly. "I would've put more thought into it."

Gibbs hadn't expected that to be the comment to spur Tony into action. The younger agent advanced on him, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Too much thought is what caused all this," Tony practically hissed. "They had us pinned for two goddamn minutes, all the while aiming at McGee and Ziva. You and I had the opportunity, Gibbs, but we didn't take it. Ziva got tired of waiting for us."

Gibbs's head shot up at the accusation. Satisfied with the direct hit, Tony braced his hands on the timber skeleton and leaned in, directly across from Gibbs.

"What was your plan, boss?" he asked, as if interrogating a suspect. "Let them run out of ammo?"

"You saying I didn't lead?" Gibbs growled.

"Yes," Tony replied, no hesitation.

"So you thought you would?"

"_Ziva_ led," Tony pointed out. "I followed her."

Gibbs leaned in to mirror Tony's position. "You confident you did the right thing?"

"Yes. And I'd do it again," Tony hit back. "I made my choice, and you could put me in a loop and I'd do it again and again. Every time. _That's_ how confident I am that I did the right thing. And don't try to push guilt on me. It's _Ziva_. The end."

Gibbs heard the warning. He ignored it. "Would you have done the same for McGee?" he challenged.

"Without question," Tony replied, confidence all over his face. Gibbs actually believed him. Still, this wasn't over. Tony was too close to his partner, and Gibbs had to manage the situation.

"How long?" he asked.

Like McGee, Tony didn't answer right away. Unlike McGee, Tony knew exactly what Gibbs was asking. But if Gibbs insisted on prying into the secrets of Tony's heart, Tony was damn well going to make him ask properly.

"How long what?"

"How long have you been dating your partner?" Gibbs asked, point blank.

Tony almost smiled. "I'm not."

Gibbs resumed sanding and decided to go for the raw nerve. Anything to shake the truth out of him. "Ah, so you're just screwing her."

Tony blinked as if slapped, then tightened his hands on the boat frame to stop himself from throwing a punch. "Apologise," he demanded in a low, dangerous voice.

Once again, this new Tony, so righteous and mad as hell, caused Gibbs to look up in surprise. Not even a year ago would Gibbs have expected to face this darker, battle scarred man, even if he knew this Tony had always been inside. It spoke volumes about what they'd all been through.

"Set me straight," Gibbs told him. He wouldn't apologise, but he'd hear Tony out.

"I haven't laid a hand on her," Tony said, shaking his head for emphasis.

Again, Gibbs found himself trusting Tony's honesty. "Don't," he warned. "Pay attention to those rules I drummed into your head. Number 12 exists for a reason."

Tony let go of the boat and slowly paced around the stern. "Yeah, but it's got nothing to do with me and Ziva. Or Abby and McGee. It's got everything to do with you."

Gibbs looked at him carefully. "That so?"

"So it is."

Gibbs dropped the sanding block on the workbench against the wall and took a seat. "What have you got, DiNozzo?"

Tony leaned against the workbench, four feet from his boss. On any other day, he would never have taken it this far. But since they were doing such a fine job of clearing the air, Tony saw no reason to stop.

"You made that rule for yourself," Tony said. "Because of Jenny. You were partners, and you fell in love with her. And then when it all went to hell, when she chose her career and broke your heart, you made up that stupid fucking rule."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Out loud, anyway. His eyes sent a clear warning that Tony was on the thinnest of ice. Tony heeded the warning only slightly, softening the anger in his tone. After all, the heart wants what it wants. Even Gibbs's heart. The man couldn't help what happened.

"You were surprised, right?" Tony went on. "By how hard you actually fell. You didn't think you'd ever love someone that much again. But then suddenly, you did. You just didn't know it until it was gone. And if the heartbreak wasn't enough to kill you, suddenly the guilt was there alongside it. And I bet you said it to yourself right then, Gibbs: _Never date a co-worker_."

Gibbs focused his thoughts on Tony's investigative technique, rather than his painfully accurate words. That way, he wouldn't leap up and kill him with his bare hands.

"You probably drummed it into your own head like you did to me," Tony said. "When Jenny showed up as Director, you weren't going to put yourself out there again to be hurt. And hey! You even had the perfect excuse to give her. Leroy Jethro Gibbs's world famous rules: never date a co-worker."

Tony stepped in towards him, and stooped to look him in the eye. "You know what the problem was with that, Gibbs? Jenny knew she'd made a mistake when she left. And she was willing to make up for it. That woman loved you with all her heart, Gibbs," he said gently, wanting the message to get through, before hardening again. "But you had too much pride. You were too arrogant. You made an excuse."

For a moment, Tony was sure he was about to get a fist in his face. But then the anger in Gibbs's eyes flickered out, and regret took its place.

"I'm not going to make an excuse," Tony told him. "And I won't accept the burden of yours on my shoulders. I know the rule is meant to protect us, but I won't let it stop me from finding out what I could have with her."

They stared at each other for long moments, Tony ready to defend himself more, and Gibbs struggling to find the higher ground. It would be so easy to smack the cocky son of a bitch and write him off as a waste of eight years. But in the end, he swallowed his hurt and bitterness.

"You in love with her, Tony?"

Tony finally relaxed at the sound of his first name. He knew then that Gibbs would not disown him. He leaned back against the workbench and rested his hands beside him. Open body language now.

"Yes. I'm not even too terrified to tell her," he boasted with the ghost of a smile. "I'd tell her ten times a day."

Gibbs looked at him curiously. "Have you told her even once yet?"

This time, Tony let the smirk come over his face. "Yep."

"What'd she say?"

Tony smiled wider. "_I know_." When Gibbs returned the smirk, Tony added, "Trust her to pick that moment to go all Han Solo on me."

Gibbs sobered once more, as his mind drifted to loves lost. "If you really love her, Tony…ten times a day won't be enough."

Tony nodded knowingly. "I'm getting that feeling, yeah."

"Two words of warning," Gibbs said, trying to wrestle control of the relationship back into his court. "Keep it out of the office."

"That was the plan," Tony said obviously.

"And stand strong, Tony. No matter how hard it gets. Because if you give up…" Gibbs shook his head. "I know you, DiNozzo. The punishment you unleash on yourself will dwarf anything Ziva could possibly dream up."

Tony nodded. He'd already considered that, and knew it to be true. "Thank you, boss."

He picked up Gibbs's sanding block and held it out. Gibbs took it with a nod of thanks, and Tony tiredly passed him on the way to the stairs.

"It's not how I imagined it," Tony said, turning back. "But this talk had to happen."

Gibbs nodded once. "Yea. Hope you got it out of your system, DiNozzo. Because that's the last time you'll ever speak to me like that. Got it?"

"You bet, boss," Tony said, and started up the stairs. He slid his jacket back on. "I'm going to get some sleep."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called before he took another step. "I lied. You should be proud of yourself tonight."

Tony didn't know is he was referring to the shooting, or to having the guts to tear strips off him. Frankly, Tony was proud of both.

"I am."

The end.

**

**A/N: Would love to hear your thoughts. If enough people like it, I might add a couple of chapters. **


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